february: forgiveness
february: imagination Charlotte Friend february: imagination Charlotte Friend

february: forgiveness

Where would we be as societies, cultures, families, and business organizations if we could all tap into what our bodies need? That’s what I like to imagine most…and to me, that is forgiveness. Body work, massages, taking walks, and meditating are apologies to the body. They re-regulate our nervous systems that get shaken and traumatized just on our way to work (think about it on your next commute when someone cuts you off or yells at you on the train).

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january: forgiveness
january: endurance Charlotte Friend january: endurance Charlotte Friend

january: forgiveness

Another part of this forgiveness is the freedom you give yourself to admit when it feels like you can no longer endure. You didn’t fail because the world got too heavy. Breaking down and tapping into all of the feelings of, “this is all a bit too much right now,” can be powerful, healing, and guide you toward the next best thing you can do for you and your future self.

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december: forgiveness
december: celebration Charlotte Friend december: celebration Charlotte Friend

december: forgiveness

I tend to feel uneasy during times of celebration and often begin to worry that all of this is too good to be true or that if I believe in the praise I’m getting then I’ll become egotistical and inherently bad–it’s pretty fucked up. Which is why I need forgiveness/ self-acceptance smack-dab in the middle of my celebrations.

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october: forgiveness
october: coping Charlotte Friend october: coping Charlotte Friend

october: forgiveness

Forgiveness dulls the sharp edge (which our culture teaches should be around emotional expression) thus allowing us to actually feel what needs to be felt in order to begin the healing process. You can’t cope with emotional turmoil that you keep hidden from yourself. And our society often markets “self-care” as a convenient hiding place for our emotions, rather than creating free and liberating pastures in which to explore true healing modalities through emotional awareness.

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september: forgiveness
september: community Charlotte Friend september: community Charlotte Friend

september: forgiveness

We feel entitled to our resentments often because there is a personal wound that they’re trying so desperately to keep hidden. Our culture makes a habit out of keeping us in the entitlement rather than encouraging us to work through the emotions until we weep for our own pain that we keep enacting onto others. It is a much more heartbreaking process to traverse our wounds and take responsibility rather than doubling down on our initial defensiveness. We must allow this process to split us open, revealing all of the instances in which we have lived through examples of the harm we now unintentionally inflict on our communities.

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july forgiveness
july: process Charlotte Friend july: process Charlotte Friend

july forgiveness

It unfortunately (and also, thankfully) never ends--you get to keep exploring the world and understanding who you are and how you react. You are not fixed in your habits and patterns. The process of processing your emotions is proof that change is the only constant.

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june forgiveness
june: isolation Charlotte Friend june: isolation Charlotte Friend

june forgiveness

Forgive yourself for setting grandiose expectations during quarantine and let yourself mourn the time alone if you need to slowly peel yourself out of the cocoon you had to build to survive this past year. Let any ideas of how any of this was “supposed to be” simply fade away, because there was no rule book for 2020. And there is no rule book for how to come out of it, only human beings with basic needs.

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may forgiveness
may: control Charlotte Friend may: control Charlotte Friend

may forgiveness

It’s never actually the “wrong” decision or experience, I don’t believe that exists. Especially with control. Sure, you might feel like something’s wrong, but that’s just learning what you’d rather try next time. 

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april forgiveness
april: tension Charlotte Friend april: tension Charlotte Friend

april forgiveness

Forgiveness, in the context of this Year of Healing, is about reflecting on what we intended, noticed, and worked on in the prior 3 weeks and integrating these lessons into our maps of past and future.

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